Melancholy

My mother is 78 years old and has alzheimer's. She is living in an assisted living facility near where I grew up. I am told that this is the best place for her, that she is happy there. But I have a hard time accepting that.
I know dementia's effects well enough to know that you cannot gauge the victim's "happiness." I don't really think happy is a word you can even use with it. Generally, even if they are pleasantly confused, they are still confused, and still don't know what is going on around them, and are distressed by it.
My mother, who was always somewhat moody and judgmental, is now even moreso. But I can't help but think that we have done her a terrible disservice, by placing her. She spent her entire adult life raising children. When the children were grown, she still saw at least one of them on a daily basis. She has been surrounded by family all of her life. And now, for one year, she has been seen only occasionally by them. I think it is sad. And I am ashamed that this is the way we are treating her disease.
I firmly believe that, no matter where she is, she will be agitated, and unhappy, even bitchy.
I just feel so....lame.....knowing she is in a facility.

I have no control over it, so that is a bit of a consolation, but not much, really.