And you call that christian?

I don't believe in god. I don't believe that Jesus Christ is the savior. I work for a church, for 5 more weeks, because I love music, and what I can do with the services with the music I bring to it. This has been pretty tough to reconcile in the 9 years I have worked there. And, I couldn't do it. So, for many reasons, but that one included, I am leaving.
Last night, I had just about the worst experience I have ever had during a rehearsal. A member of the Handbell choir got mad because there was a group (a jewish group, who rents from the church, and pays quite a bit of money in rent, and of whom I have been a strong supporter) in our rehearsal area who was not scheduled to be there. Because they were there, our rehearsal had to start late by about 5 minutes. This woman, who has a history of being difficult and spouting off, became angry, caused a scene, and stormed out of rehearsal. That left me having to play her bells, my bells, and conducting the rest of the group, which is already short handed. It was really a pain.

I decided to call her after rehearsal to let her know that her behavior was unacceptable, embarrassing, represented the church in a bad light, and leaving rehearsal let her fellow choir members down. Well, she lit into me, and needless to say, the conversation was ended abruptly by her hanging up on me when I told her the conversation was over.

Today, she sent an email out to the choir, outlining all of her reasons for her behavior last night, and then quitting. Everything in that email that she said was an attack on me. It was horrible. Nothing about it was productive, or useful, or even worth talking about. It was the most disrespectful, rude and insulting thing I have ever heard or read about me.

I wish I could ignore it, and chalk it up for what it is: ranting coming from an insecure, angry person, but the bottom line is, she has been getting away with this kind of behavior for 3 years in the church, and noone has bothered to stop it. Noone has told her she can't act like that. So, now, with 5 weeks to go, I am left with a choir that is void of critical numbers, I've been attacked, and I am angry that, because of the minister's and board's inactions in the past, I am now the subject of her vindictiveness. It really sucks.

6 more services to go....